literature

Thermogenesis

Deviation Actions

beautyinreview's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

you taste like ashes on my tongue
but i am all out of ways to save you.
you're burning up in front of me and
you want me to burn too, my skin
blisters and curls like paper, yet i still
try to reach you, i can save you,
i know i can. you're crumbling to dust
but you want the flames, and all i
want is an apology for all the scars
that will never go away. all your
"i'm sorry"s are soot in my throat and
i am done trying to save you, it's
time i tried to save myself.

sprinkle dirt over your grave,
all ashes to ashes, and dust to dust,
but mostly it's just good riddance.
That went to a darker place than I had intended.

It needs another rewrite, but some feedback before then would be helpful!

What is your interpretation? Is the imagery vivid enough or could it be more intense? Is it clear what is happening?

(c) Jessica McGale
© 2010 - 2024 beautyinreview
Comments27
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OritPetra's avatar
I love this. Dark and bitter, but not like cheap baker's chocolate; like good quality 70% cacao. Hah.

I've been meaning to check out your gallery forever. I always check out the galleries of everyone who adds me to their watch, and if I enjoy what I see, I watch them back. And something tells me I'm missing a lot by not watching you. :D